January 31, 2013 by derrickjcullen
So… Blackboard is currently on the fritz until the morning and I’m not entirely sure what I’ve been ordered to blog about. However, I am stuck in the second floor lounge of Wakefield Hall working. As I am fairly certain nobody will be coming in to be tutored in French, English, or Psychology, I figured that I’d complete my blog now. Which brings us back to the original problem… Blackboard. For my post, I think that I’ll narrate the sad fate of our poor, sickly Blackboard. Without further adieu…
The internet; convenient, addicting, and most of the time, confusing. I sort of picture Blackboard sitting in the doctor’s office— reading an outdated magazine, being careful not to glance at the others who are also attempting to avoid making eye contact with them— waiting to be seen by their chosen medical professional. In this particular case, Blackboard probably has the flu; not the killer, ornithological type… just your seasonal, do not leave the bed sort of flu. Much to Blackboard’s dismay, doc has a backlog of appointments the length of the Great Wall of China. This may be an overnighter.
“It could be worse,” Blackboard thinks to him/herself (for universal identification purposes only), “at least I don’t have to sit in the Emergency Room… Everyone is much more miserable there… And angry.”
No wonder. Emergency Room as a title implies that you as a patron have a situation on your hands so severe that you would willingly sit in an crowded room that has the overpowering scent of the refrigerator at your office, which has had every single employee’s lunch stifled within for months— and you, unknowingly, have released that aforementioned retching reek into the confines of this single room. But, just your luck, wherever there is a gathering of “emergencies”, each one ceases to uphold its name that is “emergency.” As soon as you complete your pilgrimage, your heart attack/stroke/pulsating thumb caused by hammering that nail in exactly the wrong spot has morphed into the largest nuisance to everyone else in the E.R. Double anger.
Because my post has a word count above 250 (the length requirement for my Web Design II class), we will leave Blackboard for the night, to fend off backaches from the horrendously uncomfortable plastic chairs, until morning. Our only hope can be that Blackboard refrains from strangling doc, screeching “give me a flu shot damnit” in front of all those individuals who have thus far, managed to avoid everyone else’s eyes. Their respective streaks will end with a long look into the bulging eyes of doc, being asphyxiated.